I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
