apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize