You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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