Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
