This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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