Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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