john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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