does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
