Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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