Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
