I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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