i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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