she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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