so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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