I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
