i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
