I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
