He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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