One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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