After last night, I could never be a politician.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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