I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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