Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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