Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I hate all girls vehemently.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
