I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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