the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Holy shit dude........stairs
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
