Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
