We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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