So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I need moral support for this bender
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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