What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
