I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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