I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
...so i touched it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
