What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
