fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm like, not good at living.
Dick very happy bro
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
