I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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