i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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