I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize