from now on my penis is your penis
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
