I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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