they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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