ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
