Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
