Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
