dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
