My room smells like vodka and shame
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
