Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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