I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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