Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
