she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
