Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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