My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Welp...herpes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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