I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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