By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
