Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
