Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
