Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
