I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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