What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
