i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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