thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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