Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
